Playing Mommy and Daddy
by yaoi-productions-19
Summary: What if Itachi and Kisame had other plans for Naruto when they had first met? KisaIta!Parents Naruto!Baby there is a NaruSasu sequel based on this, coming soon!


**Playing Mommy and Daddy **

...What if Naruto had gone with Itachi and Kisame when they first met? What WERE their actual intentions?...

"Hello, Naruto..." Itachi glared at the boy in the doorway of the hotel room that the blond boy and the sage toad were sharing for a night. "W-Who are you...?" Naruto shook. Kisame smiled. "Hoshigaki Kisame! Please to meet yo-" Itachi elbowed him before he could finish and offer a handshake. "We need some help, is all...You see, I would like to have children someday-"

"How the fuck can you do that?!" Naruto asked, suddenly aggresivly. "SHUT UP BRAT! I'm talking!" Itachi yelled. Naruto's expression faded and he hid behind (an also cowering) Kisame. "Ahem...as I was saying...I want to have children someday. But I have no experience with them. Granted, I had Sasuke, but mother was a bitch and never let me hold the little bundle of-"

"Itachi, you're getting off subject-"

"I WAS GETTING THERE!!" Itachi yelled.

Itachi was getting sick of those two already...

"ANYWAY! I need someone to practice on... and you're the only one childish enough to be my "child"...so...you're coming with us..." Itachi grabbed Naruto's wrist and tried to pull him to the exit, but Naruto pulled away. Itachi practically fell over backwards. "You...little retard...Come. Here. NOW!" He yelled, as Naruto backed into Kisame. "I wish I could save us, Naruto-kun..." Kisame cowered with the younger. "Naruto! Here!" Itachi pointed at the ground by his feet. Naruto shook his head. Itachi sighed, then smiled. "You like my brother, no?" Naruto's face lit up and nodded. "I know how you can get him...pregnant..." Naruto smiled. "COOL!" He yelled. Itachi smiled wider. "But! You have to help me first!" He said in a sing-song voice. "...Fine... I'll do what you want..."

"YAY!" Itachi yelled, picking Naruto up like a baby, with one hand underneath his bottom and one hand on his head. "Lets go Kisame!" Itachi smiled and they walked off.

Once they were at the Akatsuki base, a man (or woman?) with blond hair came running up to them and smiled. "You found the "child", hmm?!" He screamed. Itachi slapped a hand on his mouth. "SHHHHHHH DEIDARA!" He scolded. The man smiled and nodded. "So...Uzumaki Naruto, eh?" A short man with red hair said, smiling, entering with a small wooden toy in hand. He put it into Naruto's hands as he slept. "Yes. He's our "child"!" Itachi smiled. Soon, a man with an orange mask, a woman with blue hair, and a man with piercings everywhere, entered. "Oi, Itachi-chan. This him?" the only woman asked. Itachi smiled and nodded. "Yes Konan..." The woman, now named Konan, looked and saw Naruto sleeping with a binky in his mouth. "AW!" She whispered loudly. The man with the orange mask looked and waved his arms. "I WANNA BINKY!!" He yelled.

Kisame blocked the man's mouth. "Shut up, Tobi! Don't wake him." A tear came out of his eyehole. "B-But...Tobi is a good boy...he wants a binky too!!" He wailed, as Naruto glared down at the binky in his mouth. "Whah isth this?" He asked, getting pissed. Itachi, Konan, and Deidara cooed over it. "His first words!" Konan smiled, getting overly excited. Naruto glared at her and took the binky out. "Hey! I've been speaking for about fourteen years, lady!" then he put it back. Konan shrieked. "AH! SO CUTE!" Naruto just rolled his eyes. "I'll go put him to bed-"

"Keep him away from Zetsu!" The man with the piercings said seriously. "Oh yeh..." Itachi said, walking down the hall. Itachi set Naruto in a crib- A CRIB! "There you go, baby..." Itachi said, laying a soft blanket on Naruto and patting his head. Naruto actually started to like this. He never did have a mother or any maternal figure like he did Itachi at the moment. He fell asleep almost suddenly.

The next morning, Itachi sat on his and Kisame's bed, holding Naruto and talking to him.

"Well, we can use our sharingan for getting pregnant." (how many thought of that for mpreg?)

"How can I make Sasuke do that for me?"

"Tell him you know where I am."

"Then you'll die...!"

"No! He can't kill me now. He has to get stronger-he knows this."

"Excuse me, you two, but may I come in?" Kisame asked at the doorway. Itachi smiled and nodded. Kisame sat by them and sipped his ramen broth. Naruto whimpered a bit as he watched the ramen leave the cup. Kisame glanced at him and smiled. "You can't eat ramen. You're too young!" Naruto screamed "NO!" very dramatically and started to fuss. "Good job, retard!" Itachi yelled, putting the binky in Naruto's mouth and laying down with the boy ontop of him. Kisame shrugged. "It's true!"

"It's broth!" Itachi retorted.

"So! It's my broth..." Kisame said, possesivly putting the cup to his chest and a hand over the top. "Just a sip, Kisame?" Itachi pouted. Kisame rolled his eyes and sat closer to them. Itachi sat up and took the binky out of Naruto's mouth. Kisame put the cup to his hands and Naruto cupped the sides, like a toddler with a bottle. Naruto smiled and sipped a bit of it. Kisame took it back too soon and it spilt on the bed and Naruto's clothes.

"Great job, Kisa-danna!" Itachi yelled as he took Naruto up into his chest suddenly. "What happened?" Naruto asked, hypnotized by the broth- that was damn good!

Finally, after a month, Kisame and Itachi had to bring Naruto back; Naruto rode on Kisame's shoulders. "Why do I have to come back? I liked it at the Akatsuki base with you guys..." Kisame shrugged. "Yeh well, we have other duties, as well." he said, not smiling. Itachi looked up at him. "We don't want you to leave, but you have that "mission" we were discussing..." Naruto smiled. "Oh yeh...!" When they had gotten to the hotel, Kisame put Naruto down. They hugged and said their good-byes. Naruto started to head off. Naruto then remembered something-"What kind of sharingan did Sasuke need to get pregnant?" Naruto shrugged and kept walking-they'd figure that out together...

Fin

Lol I had to!! I couldn't take it! What if this really did happen? I'd love that. Review plz!


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